To give a little background to yesterday's events, I have been preparing and practicing for the 1L Moot Court competition held at the law school. This competition is for all 1Ls that are interested in trying out for the Moot Court team. I thought this was something I would be interested in doing and something that I thought I could excel at. In all of my practice sessions with fellow students, TAs, and professors, I was receiving very good feedback. Obviously, I had a lot of growing to do, but I felt confident with this style of oral argument.
On Saturday I had my competition and felt really good about it. On top of that, I received great feedback from the judges and I felt confident that I would move on to the next round...but needless to say, I did not. I was shocked. Not because I felt like I was better than everyone else, but because of the feedback I received from everyone that had judged me. I was hurt. I felt like this is something I could be good at, but then I didn't even make it to the top 50!
This leads me to yesterday's events. It was hard for me to go to school yesterday because of the hurt that I felt. I wanted to be on the team so bad, but I had that eliminated from me because I didn't make it into the top 50. It was hard for me to put on a happy face when all I felt was pain inside. This was the feeling I had yesterday morning. Then the first tender mercy happened at a mandatory lecture I had to attend at noon. At the end of the lecture, the instructor said she had a raffle and the prize was a bag full of her company's products. I didn't think twice about it, but when she passed out the raffle tickets I thought to myself, "Heavenly Father, do you really know me? Do you know my situation? I felt like I should come to BYU Law School, but I have been faced with a lot of disappointments. Is this where I need to be? If so, have my name be drawn out." I know that sounds so stupid. Stupid enough to have Christy laugh at me when I was telling her about this yesterday, but to me it wasn't stupid. It is something that I will remember forever. So, when they pulled the name out of the bucket (there were about 60-70 raffle tickets in the bucket), they read my name and I almost started to cry. I never win anything like that, but I know that Heavenly Father wanted to show me something. I know he wanted to show me that he is there and that I am doing what I should be doing right now. I couldn't care less about what I won, but I will always be grateful for the tender mercy that I received at the law school raffle.
The second tender mercy that I received was from my TA. He was one of my judges on Saturday. I e-mailed him yesterday, asking him if I could get some feedback from him because I really wanted to be better at moot court. He said he wanted to talk to me in person and so he sought me out yesterday afternoon. He said that after he finished judging on Saturday, there were 5 people he thought were "shoe ins" for the next round and he said that I was one of them. Then when he got the results back on Sunday he saw that only 2 of the 5 had made it. He was shocked. He sought me out to tell me that I should take the results of Saturday's competition as a sign of my ability to be good at moot court. He said he wanted me to e-mail all of the judges, get feedback from them, and then e-mail the president of the moot court team and ask if I could get on the team. He then said that all three of the judges would fight for me to get on the team. I don't know if I will be able to get on the team, but it was a tender mercy to have the TA seek me out and tell me that the door to moot court wasn't shut. Not only that, but it was a tender mercy to hear him say that he would fight for me to get on the team.
I am sorry this is long, but I would feel very ungrateful if I didn't tell you all that Heavenly Father is mindful of you. He knows what you are going through. He knows your trials. He knows your desires. He knows you!
How have you seen his tender mercies in your live?s
Babe, I'm glad you witnessed these tender mercies. I am sorry I initially laughed, but I think it was because you seemed so childlike in your approach. It was adorable. But I'm grateful that the Lord was able to show you what I've been telling you...you are talented and these roadblocks are not a sign that you aren't.
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